My Apple Rankings
Okay so this actually occured back in September, but I felt it necessary to share.
One random day in September, my partner and I were dicussing the site AppleRankings.com with our friend Sam. After looking at a bunch of random apples, we all collectively realized that we haven’t actually tried that many apple varieties. Thus we decided to go to our Wegmans grocery store and buy 1 of each apple variety they had in stock.
We sliced up each apple and ate 1 slice of each. We rated each apple on a scale of 1-5 and wrote down our thoughts. Just to make it known, I love crunchy apples and I love tart apples.
Here are the results:
Let me go through and explain my rankings:
Rave (5/5):
Okay this was a new apple for me. It had a kinda sparkling “Pop Rocks” feel to it. I don’t know how else to describe it. I loved it.
Envy (1/5):
I didn’t particularly like it. It was too sweet and not crispy. I hate anything that tastes like a honeycrisp apple.
SugarBee (2/5):
Also too sweet but better than Envy.
Pazazz (3.5/5):
I liked this one. It was crispy! This could become a regular casual apple for me.
Pink Lady (4.5/5):
I have come to love pink lady apples. They’re crispy and juicy. It is wildly good even though its not tart.
Evercrisp (1/5):
Similar to Envy. Too sweet. Not crispy.
Granny Smith (5/5):
Perfect apple. Perfect amount of tartness and crispness.
Gala (2/5):
Not as bad as I thought it would be, but not that great.
Sweet Tango (3.5/5):
I ended up enjoying this one as well! It also had a pop rocks feel to it (similar to the the rave apple), but not as good a a rave apple.
Ginger Gold (0.5/5):
This is one of the most putrid apples I’ve ever had the displeasure of eating. I am very biased against yellow apples, and this apple is the reason. This apple embodies everything I hate about a bad apple. It was just mushy. I couldn’t even finish the slice that I had. Like imagine wrapping sand in a wet paper towel and then eating it. That’s what this apple tasted like. I would only wish this apple on my worst enemy. I would genuinely rather eat a honeycrisp apple than this apple.
Fuji (3/5):
I like red delicious apples, and this was a similar experience. It was good.
Red Delicious (3/5):
I actually stand by the fact that red declicious apples are good casual apples. This was still true. Everyone can hate them, but I never will. They’re the perfect amount of crispy.
McIntosh (0.5/5):
I believe mcintosh apples to be the original apple of sin. Not because it tastes good, but because its bad for humanity. This was actually the most putrid apple I’ve ever had. It should truly not exist. Imagine eating 3 day old mashed potatoes that was left out and then reheated to soften up, and then wrapped in an apple skin. If you tried to pelt someone with this apple, it would just explode into a cloud of mush on impact. Imagine wet, light, fresh snow. Now make a snowball with that snow. It barely holds up. That snowball is what this apple feels like. There is no taste beyond all the mush. I immediately spit this apple out and rinsed my mouth out with water. This apple and ginger gold apples are twin apples made in the worst apple factory in the world. And the one question that I had after trying this apple was: “Why did the company Apple name their computer after this apple? This does a great injustice to their actual product.” If I ever give you a mcintosh apple, know that I hate you and we are not friends. Like if an olive branch is the official symbol of peace, a mcinosh apple is the official symbol of conflict.
You might be wondering what we did with the slices of apples that we did not eat! We actually used all of the remaining apples slices (except ginger gold and mcinstosh. We threw them away immediately) to make an apple crisp! It was my first time making a crisp and it was easy to make and it was delicious!